A (Snarky) Book Review: Red Rain - Aubrey Hansen

 I do believe I wrote a short rant and rave about this book not too long ago, before it was published. I have only now just realized that I don't think I ever gave my opinion of it in the form of a review. However, since this is a very special book written by a very special friend, it is only apt that I give it a very special review. And what better way to review it than in one of the author's favourite methods of communication...


"Now see here," you say. "How can you give a favourable review of a book whilst being snarky? You use sarcasm when giving an unfavourable view! You can't use snark!"

Who said it was going to be favourable?


Scared ya, didn't I?

Well of course it's going to be favourable! I mean, Philly wrote it, didn't she?

[Aside to Philly] It was you, right? I mean, it doesn't have "Philly" written on the front cover... it could have been someone else... it could have been anyone... I never did get an actual confirmation off you that it was indeed you who wrote it...


Dear reader,

Investigations are currently under way to resolve whether or not it was indeed the esteemed Philliness who wrote "Red Rain".

Resolution pending.

The Legitimate Author Investigators


Okay, okay. I'll be serious now. Yes, of course, it was my Philly who wrote Red Rain. All that awesomeness had to come from somewhere, you know. To give you an idea of just what the story is about, here is the synopsis:

Government regulations said they had no choice. 17-year-old Philadelphia must stay on Earth in the care of complete strangers while her father is sent against his will to Mars. When a benevolent official gives her the opportunity to accompany her father, Philadelphia knows she must keep her head down or be sent back to Earth. But when a search for her deceased brother’s Bible leads her into a hallway that isn’t supposed to exist, Philadelphia is faced with a question she doesn’t want to answer – the choice between returning to Earth or destroying it.

See? Awesome, right? (There's only one answer to that question, by the way.

I just told you what it was.)

I thoroughly enjoyed Red Rain as I knew I would. (My future predictions do come true sometimes, see?) It is sci-fi, which is great in itself, as an SF fan over here. The plot is unique and thought-provoking, the world vivid and fascinating. It also has a Christian worldview that was refreshing to read, and it gives Christians something to chew on. What would you do if there were no Bibles left on earth? Good deep stuff. It also has a gorgeous cover to go with it and that does the story justice. Art-geek moment. Bear with me. 

The main character Philadelphia - Ha! Fancy that. Same name as Philly! Oh, wait... - is an incredibly complex girl who struggles with knowing what the right thing to do is, and battles with the hard choices she has to make based on God's Word, even if it conflicts with her heart. I like her curiosity that leads her into trouble without her even realizing it, and her honesty that makes it difficult for her to cover the truth, simply by looking at her face. I like her. She is an impressive character. She probably get's it from her namesake.

There is also a secondary character in the book who is one of my favourite characters out of most that I have read.


I can't tell you who it is, because it will spoil the story for you. Mwahahaha! I feel so horrible. In a good way. (is that possible?) I can tell you, however, that you should know him when you meet him. Just tell him Bush sent you. Better yet, take cupcakes. They may have a shortage of them on Mars.

The bad guy is also awesome. "wait, what--?!" Yes, you heard me. I can count on one hand how many villains I believe make such good bad guys that they are worthy of my admiration. Dr. Nic is one of my few fingers. He's nasty, has moral issues, but is still kind enough to let Phil go to Mars with her Dad. He is a complicated character, and the complications make him fascinating. I should read the book again, just to see how many other things about him I can pry out of the story.

So on the whole, a most favourable report for this book! I'd give it six stars, but you can only officially choose a max of five. Sadness... Anyhow. If you haven't read it, go read it. If you haven't got it, go buy it. And if you have read it, go read it again and give cupcakes to [name redacted] when you find him. Else you would have read this entire snarky ridiculous review for nothing, wasting precious seconds of your life. Life is short. You shouldn't waste it on book reviews unless you do something with them.

So I leave you with one simple instruction:

Go read Red Rain. 


So Philly: I know you're reading. How'd I do? Did I tickle the snark-o-meter? And do I get extra points for using dashes?

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  1. Replies
    1. Well I have achieved my purpose then. ;) Thanks for reading, Jonathan! :D

  2. To answer the P.S.:

    I love you.

    That answer your questions? ;)

    1. It answers all of them. ^_^

    2. *nods smartly*

      To put it in more elaborate terms, I loved this! Thank you for not only writing a review for my book, but also for writing a wonderful post that is just fun all on its own. You made me laugh tonight. :)

    3. I am honoured to write a review for your book, and to have made you laugh, my dear Philly! Thankyou for reading and for commenting! :D

  3. I likes your snarkiness. XD

    One question: why would you only give it six stars if you could give it more than five?

    1. I'm glad you like my snarkiness, Jeremiah! :D

      I couldn't give it six stars technically, because most books are rated out of five. So five out of five is the highest rating you could give. Technically I couldn't give it six. ;)

    2. Yes, but if you were going to get all speculative about more-than-five-star-ratings, why not go bigger? XD *isn't making sense and is loving it*

    3. * grins * Good point! Make that six million stars! :D

      * is loving the lack of sense too* ^_^

  4. * giggles * I think this is my favorite RR review yet. :D

    (Give [name redacted] cupcakes, or Phillicakes?)

    1. I am humbled that beloved Shawnie rates my review so highly! ^_^

      [Oh phillicakes. Definitely. [name redacted] would be indubitably biased. ;)]

    2. * giggles * Indeed [name redacted] would. ^^;;


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