Numb.

Yes. That was what it was. Numbness was what one felt when they couldn't feel anything, wasn't it? The sharp gravel beneath her bare feet hardly registered in her cloudy senses, and she could barely feel the icy wind stinging her face. Numb was definitely how she felt.

She was out here to look at the sunset. That’s right. She remembered now. Raising her listless gaze to the sky, she stared through swollen bloodshot eyes at the orange glow permeating the misty rain coming across the horizon. The golden rays of fading sunlight shone down through breaks in the clouds, casting them a lining of pure gold; water droplets glistening and sparkling in amongst the glow as the falling rain drew nearer to where she stood.

 It was a spectacular sight. Truly, she tried to appreciate it. She attempted to take in the splendour of God's handiwork, and admire His hand in the glorious display. Groping through the fog in her bewildered mind, she strove to latch onto a single happy thought; a last glimpse of hope, or fragment of a dream. But there was nothing there. Her mind, like the darkening forest beneath the golden extravaganza, was a dark void.

What good was there in enjoying a sunset, anyway? It was such a fleeting sparkle on the horizon before the world was cast into the shadow of darkness. Already, the golden rays were dissipating, and the fading light retreating from the sky as the black fingers of night twisted their way through the trees in their gathering gloom. So like her life, she mused duly. A moment of goodness; a season of assumed assurance of happiness and joy, when like a thief in the night, what you hold dear is snatched away without a trace; like a cruel hand heartlessly snuffing out a candle, leaving only a hint of smoke in its wake. Smoke will never replace the glow of a flame that once burned, and no thief returns that which he took great pains to steal.

Uniqueness. This is a word that has about a million clichés tied with it:

"Remember you are unique... just like everyone else."

"Be yourself. Everyone else is taken."

Just to name a couple. It is one of the most highly promoted attributes that one should embrace, and yet it is the least applied in day-to-day living for many people.

Ask anyone if they believe that they are unique, you will be answered with a resounding "Yes of course!" Because everyone knows there is only one of them in the world. (unless they are seriously deluded...) However if you ask "Do you live like you're unique?" you may be met with a blank stare, stammering, or a confused "what do you mean?"

Think about it. Are you the same person when you are out grocery shopping? At church? At a party? With your best friend? With your pastor? Your Mum? Your brother? Your dog?

On the surface, most people would probably still answer yes to this question. It's hard to look at yourself from another's perspective in several different scenarios at once. But if you think about this situation: you are at a party with a group of people you know, laughing at the jokes, talking loud and fast with everyone, when a quiet, strict person you know walks over and you suddenly begin to speak softer, taking on a more "civilised" air as you continue your discussion - and much less enthusiastically. After all, what would they think of you, laughing, out loud like that? You must look foolish. Better clam up a little, assume a detached demeanour so they don't think badly of you. You wouldn't want it to get around to other people who believe you are a quiet person that you were found to be laughing at a party, now would you?

Know that feeling?